Wonderland Adventure #2

Sometimes I hate having a disability. People just don't understand how difficult it is to live in a world where everything has never come easy for you. I've had to deal with a lot because of the con manager at Saboten and he refuses to understand my special needs.

It's so bad that it's causing me a lot of emotional trauma. I mean the positives of Saboten are seeing my friend Rokku, my favorite voice actors and building my social skills but the negatives are dealing with the ignorant con manager who seems to think i just want special treatment.

I can't help that my disability causes trouble for me. I don't do shit on purpose just to get my way. If you trigger something then the shit is going to hit the fan. I don't have any control over that and when something happens then it's going to cause a bad reaction.

If you've ever dealt with an autistic person before, than maybe you'll know just how I feel. It's just nerve-wracking. Everything else goes fine but he doesn't seem to understand that I run on a strict schedule. I need to have time to relax and take a breather and after dealing with overstimulation, standing all day, walking around, etc... if i don't get time to settle and I'm rushing around trying to be first in line just so I am able to get up front so i can see and hear better, then it just adds more stress.

I just hate having a disability and I wish, at least, that I could turn it off for Saboten so i could have fun like a normal person. But i just get a really bad feeling that something bad will happen just like every year and that my autism will spiral out of control.

Let's not forget that I have ADHD and when those two combine, it causes a huge nuclear explosion because those two don't go together. I'm so damn stressed that I want to just die right now. (Not literally)

Wonderland Adventure #1

So, Saboten is in eight days and I'm so damn nervous. I hate the fact that I have a disability. It makes things so much more stressful, especially when you've had so much bad luck. But anyway, I started fresh again and I'm hoping to use this more when i go to Saboten. I'll be updating more...I hope.

I've trying to get some writing done before Saboten finally comes around and I've been failing to do that. I really think the stress is getting to me so writing is becoming much more of a challenge. x_x I need to get myself back into writing but I keep procrastinating and browsing Facebook or playing pokemon.

Yes, I'm a pokemon nerd. XD Moving on, I don't have much to say except that I've been preparing myself for Saboten and such. By the way, this is a photo of me in my cosplay: